Tuesday, September 20, 2011

I Can't Stop Smiling

How is it that I've been living in San Pedro for over a month already? It's so strange, because I don't feel like I've been here that long. In fact, time has lost it's pace and I feel like I haven't lived here for long and also like I've always lived here. I'm not sure what all that means, but it makes me think that I must be adjusting well to my new life.

I love school. I love my kids and I love what I do everyday. For so long I've struggled with this notion of joy, and now, I feel that while I don't completely understand what joy is, I'm living joyfully. I wake up in the morning excited to go to Las Palmas, I'm excited to see the kids and give them hugs and high fives. I'm excited to see my fellow employees and smile at them in the hall. I love watching the parents bring their kids to school.

And this isn't to say that everyday doesn't have it's challenges. It's not all peaches and cream. But the excitement I feel everyday outweighs the challenges. And besides, if there wasn't something everyday to challenge me and make me think, I wouldn't be happy. The adventure that I'm living right now is made by these challenges. Yes, sometimes the kids don't listen or they can't keep their hands to themselves, but this is where I'm suppose to be and these kids have become my ministry. Its not where I pictured myself serving, but I love it anyway.

I feel like this is such a mushy blog, but I can't help this excitement in me. I can't stop smiling to people that I see. And I love the effect that smiling at people can ripple. They smile back and its beautiful. It makes me happy. I met a guy at the store the other day when I was in line for the ATM. It had been raining, and I had gotten soaked on my motoconcho, and the line was halfway through the store. But I smiled at everyone. The guy in front turned away and thanked me for smiling even though it would appear that I was in a situation that would make most people frown. This is why I smile at people. They notice. It makes me think that Christ is showing and that's what I want people to see.

I just sometimes can't believe how much joy I feel right now. My birthday is in a few days, and normally I hate my birthday. It's just another reminder that my life isn't going according to plan; an anniversary of "dear autumn, you fail as a person", but this year I'm looking forward to my birthday. I feel excited for it knowing that perhaps I'm not exactly in the place I want to be, I'm where God wants me to be. And for that, I'll smile.

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