However, while at Liberty last weekend, I was taken to one of my favorite places to be: a bookstore. And since I'm at Liberty, I can expect a lot of books on theology and "stuff Christians like". My goal was to find a new devotion book. I wanted to have something definite to help me with my Bible reading and keep me from falling off the wagon. While in the women's section (really, where else would I be?) I found a book called "Lady in Waiting: Becoming God's Best While Waiting for Mr. Right". Hadn't I just spend a quarter of my quiet time that morning at the LU Monogram praying that God would bring me Mr. Right? Hadn't I just been imagining browsing through that bookstore with the man of my dreams? Of course I had. It was a daily thing for me to do. Needless to say, the book intrigued me. Scanning the back of the book, it didn't look any different from any other book that promised to teach me to live above my longing for my earthly Prince. I flipped open the cover to the introduction and skimmed it. About two-thirds down the page my eyes took in the information that made me look towards the ceiling and give God a little "are-you-kidding-me" look. This book was using the book of Ruth to help me realize the fundamental truth that God has been screaming at me for months: He is all I need. But here was what I am studying at church to prove that I can be a grown up coupled with something that weighs down my very soul. Its a God thing. So I purchased the book.
All this back story is leading to a conclusion, I promise. And here it is. I am committing myself to really discover and be a Lady in Waiting for God. This will be my personal journey with a love relationship with Christ. It's time that I told God that He's enough and actually live knowing that He is. I don't know why I'm nervous. The worst that could happen is that if I really dive into this, God will fill me. What's so bad about that? Because right now I worry that means that I won't get my Prince Charming, my Mr. Right. However, that's just defeating myself before I begin. God will fill me. I just have to surrender that vessel before Him. Okay loneliness, you're about to hit the road, so if you have a final tear to shed, I suggest you cry it now.
God, fill me up